As he stands in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing his teeth and lamenting the loss of the youthful elasticity in his skin, he makes eye contact with his reflection, groans, and then quickly looks away. I stand behind him, “You're getting on a bit old man, who's going to fancy that now eh?” I can tell he agrees but doesn't reply, he rarely does. When he does it's usually a jovial “piss off, or shut it!”. It's banter, at least I think it is. 

The Happiness Curve or ‘U-shaped’ curve is a plotted line on a graph. Starting at the top left-hand side of our ‘U’ in our 20’s, moving through to the bottom of the curve in our 40’s. Then to rise again and see us at the top of the right-hand point of the ‘U’ later in life.

Talking is often difficult for me. Once I get going I'll talk all day long. But in dark times, I find it difficult to start. Being in a relationship with me must be like owning a classic car!

Being adopted really does make life tricky, especially when that life asks you to promote yourself. It's like standing in front of a crowd of people with a sign saying; ‘This is me, please point out my faults, its fine, I'm expecting you to!’

This week found me on another attempt at dragging my arse out of the funk I find myself in. I drove into Derbyshire’s Peak District

This morning at 7 am I arrived home from my last night shift this week. Straight to bed for me, I was bushed. Great, I can sleep without having to set an alarm. I was hoping for 3 pm.  I woke at 12 pm.

I wrote this while I was drunk the other night. I was just about to turn in and I was going around the house locking up and switching off when all of a sudden I had an urge to write.

My anxiety has been steadily getting worse over the last 12 months.