I’m Not Writing This to Blame the Internet.

Last week I qualified as a mental health first aider. The course ran for two days and what an amazing two days it was! 

The course was presented by a guy with some of the best facial hair I've ever seen in real life, a big long beard, with the most incredible handlebar mustache sitting above it. He told us at one point that he suffered from a mild form of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), although he said it was more “CD” than “OCD”. I kept wondering how he coped with getting the curls just right on the end of this wonderous ‘tash, and what happened if it just wasn't working. It turned out he was 51 years old, one year older than me and there wasn't a grey hair on his head. As I am currently sliding into Arctic Fox from Silver Fox these days, I also wondered how he managed this. 

During the course, I was prepared to learn more about mental health, how to spot signs of poor mental health in others, how to approach starting a conversation with people about their issues, and how to help and signpost. But what I wasn't prepared for was how being in that room for those two days affected us all, we all shared so much about ourselves, sometimes it was the light aspects in our lives, and sometimes we were clearing out the dark corners of our minds, it felt like an extremely safe space for us all to share. I had never been more vocal in a training course before and the second day I woke feeling as if I'd overshared. I told the group this on the second day, and of course, everyone disagreed. I was relieved.

Not only did I come away with a qualification, but I also took with me a little piece of all who attended. It was such a positive experience. 

It's made me believe even more that, no matter who we are, are all going through something. Some of us choose to face it and deal with our issues while others choose to put it down to just being alive and carry on. I often wish I could be that way but I'm too much of a hypervigilant overthinker and for that, I blame my adoption. 

I won't share everything here from the time on that course as it was agreed that it stayed in that room and was for our ears only, but I will share my introduction to the group. I was the first to be asked to introduce myself, what was my name? “Andy Wallis”.What position did I hold within the company? “Maintenance engineer”. Did I have any experience of poor mental health? “Erm well, you mean apart from the depression, anxiety, attachment issues, adoption trauma, the blog, the book, and the podcast?  No nothing really, I'm fine". Ha, yeah right!

After I shared my story, it went around the table and the others began to share. There were some extremely brave souls in that room and I thank them so much for bearing their truths for us all. 

You know how it's said that you don't go a day without seeing a cow? Well, I don't go a day without hearing about mental health. Maybe it's because I'm invested in the subject so heavily at the moment, nevertheless, talk of it is never far away. I've heard it said that poor mental health is a pandemic now, well it certainly gets more airtime than Covid these days. 

Poor mental health is referenced throughout history, often being blamed on the supernatural (being possessed by evil or demonic spirits) and somatogenic (physical body function disturbances from illness or brain damage). As well as Psychogenic (caused by trauma, stress, or learned, hereditary cognitions). There are examples right back in prehistoric evidence from examination of skulls and cave art that suggest from as early as 6500 BC, Trephination was carried out (surgical drilling of holes in skulls to treat head injuries and epilepsy as well as to allow evil spirits trapped within the skull to be released).

According to the Institute for Health Metrics Evaluation (IHME) in 2017, just under 300 million people worldwide suffered from anxiety, about 160 million from major depressive disorder, and another 100 million from the milder form of depression known as dysthymia. If nothing else it's good to know I'm not alone.

So why is this?

As I sit here searching the internet for references to mental health and its apparent rise I keep coming back to one clear idea, Social Media. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have their positive sides, of course, take how it has brought solace and guidance to me through the adult adoption channels I chose to be a part of, and the fact that you are reading this post now. There is easy shopping, answering questions such as “What's that guy on the TV been in before? and let's not forget to share a photo of your lunch and the millions of photos of cats dressed in pirate costumes.

But then there's the bullying, Trolling, and what about all the overblown, mostly unachievable lifestyle embellishments portrayed by content creators that influence our kids so heavily? In my opinion, they appear to give advice and ideas on how to make us look and feel better about ourselves, however, I can't help but feel that these are the things that nurture low self-esteem in an already vulnerable generation. Yes ok, I know I’m probably an ‘out of the loop’ 50-year-old dinosaur, but the rise in poor mental health in young people did not start all by itself. As screen time increases, mental health seems to have taken an equal and opposite decrease. 

Recently I saw a post from YouTuber and Tiktoker ‘kallmekris’ creating very personal and open content about her struggles with mental health and ED (eating disorder). And then nobodycaresAnthony opens up about his trauma and loneliness. These two in particular are usually very funny content creators and sharing their struggles in this way is extremely brave of them. Take a look at these reels (link on their names above).

I recently created a Facebook advert for my book that attracted some to comment negatively. I ended up removing the advert as it triggered my ‘im not good enough’ gland. I suppose I really should have ignored the comments, but in the end, I couldn't. So did the Trolls win? Probably. I spoke to an author recently who had a similar experience, she said that the reason these trolls see these posts in the first place is because the algorithm believes that they are interested because they choose to comment at all!

How many of us have reached out to Dr Google to try and explain our latest ailment only to find out that our time might be better spent writing a will not a Facebook post? Then when we do finally see our GP it's something far less sinister. Yes, the internet reaches parts of our psyche that can change us both for the good and bad.

In short, if you don't appreciate what the Internet is providing for you, ignore it and move on, because you just don’t know anything about that person's life and the state of their mental health. It's not like a broken leg, it's not a physical plaster cast or bandage and some of us have to use so much strength just to get up in the morning. One negative comment is all it might take to trigger an already ticking bomb within us. Think before you comment.

I’m not writing this blog to badmouth and blame the internet for this alleged mental health pandemic, it's merely an observation. If you go back to after the Second World War for instance there are so many stories about family members seeing negative changes in loved ones as they returned from conflict. There was no such acronym as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) back then, so soldiers were referred to as having ‘Battle Fatigue’ or suffering from ‘shell shock’ (Being shocked by shelling). Some believed there was no such thing. Nowadays PTSD is recognised and treated just as any mental illness and is not just reserved for veterans. It's even cited as a symptom of Adoption Trauma.

In today's instant society, we don't allow ourselves to truly relax. For most of us relaxing means sitting on our sofas with the TV on whilst scrolling through our socials. Even when we have the time to switch off our minds, we choose to scroll. We never get time to truly reset.

So please, if you have an hour spare, don't waste it, put your phone away, walk, clean your house, write, paint, read, or just sit quietly and listen, to your surroundings and your mind. Your emails, Facebook, or that next episode of your favourite show can wait, it's not going anywhere.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash