Guest Post - Fiona Myles, Georgie, Me and ADHD
With Fiona Myles on the brink of releasing her next book, 'Georgie, Me and ADHD', I thought it would be a great idea to let her do another 'Who's Wally?' take over.
Fiona, over to you ...
Living with a child who has trauma, grief, attachment issues, all sorts of issues is not easy. We 'adopted' our daughter when she was fourteen months old. She had been through a lot of difficulties, not least being taken away from her Mummy at birth. She spent five weeks in hospital after having a brain bleed the day she was born.
Weathering a lot of storms as a newborn has left her with all of the aforementioned issues. Add to all of that learning difficulties and ADHD. We thought that as I am an adoptee that I would be more clued up on being a good understanding parent to her. We thought that her being my great niece from the family I was adopted out of would help us deal with and help her with attachment issues.
Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's been a very difficult journey so far. Her difficulties are heartbreaking to watch and be a part of. Agonisingly watching her struggle through the ages of four to six almost finished me off. Thankfully as she approaches eight at the end of October we can see that she is starting to work on some of these huge emotions that she has.
In this day and age I was surprised at how hard I had to fight to get her the help that she so desperately needed. Telling professionals that she was suffering from adoption trauma almost got me laughed at. My little tornado is in therapy these days. My heart rips out of my chest every time the therapist tells me she doesn't feel secure. Smothered in a normal loving home with understanding parents still is not enough to break that thread of trauma. Seeing her biological family as often as distance allows hasn't broken that thread of trauma either.
It is not all doom and gloom; she is only seven and getting the very best of care and professional input. Her long list of difficulties means that she struggles to understand her position in life. I wrote a poem that is in my latest book. Georgie Me & ADHD ( Amongst other things)
Good day or bad day , who chooses?
Flowers and chocolates or a few new bruises?
Screaming and shouting or delirious laughter?
Delightful smiles or serious scowls?
Aggression and control, violent outbursts
Frustration, anger and bewilderment.
Screaming and shouting or delirious laughter?
Panic stricken face at the slightest thing out of place.
Outside is a different place, Outside is a happy place.
Scooters, prams, bikes and skates, the faster the better.
Screaming and shouting and delirious laughter.
Outside is a very happy place.
I hate you, I hate you , you're the worst, she shouts with venom
I only said no , the word that always causes the anger to rise.
I know she doesn't hate me, I know she loves me very deeply
I head to the bathroom to cry before she sees my tears.
Abandonment, grief, trauma, ADHD, Autism , learning difficulties and more.
So much for my child to have to begin to manage
My child makes me cry , but it's not the bruises I get, It's not the screaming,
the anger, or even the I hate you she shouts.
It is the pain she is in and she can’t get it out.
That final sentence I can really resonate with as an adoptee myself.
You can get your hands on Fiona's new book here: https://buy.stripe.com/dR6aGf4Tx15TfqEbIV
Image: © Fiona Myles
